I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
