He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
