Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
