Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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