i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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