Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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