I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
