What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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