Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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