isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
