i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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