I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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