how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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