Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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