You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he shaved USA in his pubs
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
