and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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