Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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