coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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