its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize