She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
