I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize