Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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