I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
