that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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