I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
