is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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