you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do you remember whose house we're in?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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