Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
