The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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