I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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