Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
