afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Couch. On fire.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
