hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
