Non-Jews are for practice
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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