I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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