LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize