I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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