Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He better not be in your backpack
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
