People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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