Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
