Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
