I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
