I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My vagina is very pro this idea
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
