I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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