Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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