We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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