You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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