Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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