she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
