he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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