So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
