a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
