i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize