just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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