I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
When are your genitals available?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
