I just pynch a tree in the face
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
