She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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