Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
