Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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