Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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