oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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