ya dads aren't the best wingmen
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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