i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
