handjob tips. give me some.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
