Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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