You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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