So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
farters have to be the big spoon...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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