My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize