So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
