I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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