; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do vagina's smell?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
